Well, you know what happens next?
I go to see my beloved daughter, Janna in Egypt. You see, her family has broken all means of communication with me. Her dad cut his phone number, all the family's contact numbers, their Skype ID's and every other way to get a hold of them.
In desperation, I even contact my x-husband's new wife to ask if she would be so kind to notify her husband that I want to see my daughter in August 2014, with no answer from him.
So, I decide, I will just go to Egypt and somehow find the family home and somehow they will let me in so I can see my daughter.
I arrive in Egypt on December 20, 2014. I go to my hotel and I decide that I will be in contact with a lawyer, because this is what the Consular Services in Cairo told me to do, in order to enforce the custody order from the states.
I wait and wait and wait.. until, I just cannot wait anymore. I have been in Egypt for 5 days, just waiting. I decide, I will go to the house. I will have a taxi driver pick me up, pay him $100 roundtrip, bring something sweet and new clothes for my daughter Janna, I even am prepared to pay for her care.
The taxi driver and I ride around asking for my x-husband's home. Finally, we arrive at the front door. I am literally shaking-my voice, my hands, everything. Many mixed thoughts are going through my head, "What if they tell me not to come in? What if my daughter sees me and she is so scared she cries-granted I haven't seen her in almost two years. What if my x-husband is home? What if his new wife is there?" I did not know what to expect.
Baba, my daughter's grandfather answers the door. He is a bit surprised but seems happy. He helps me with the stuff and we go into the family home. I see my x-husband's mother and she smiles and hugs me like I am her long-lost daughter. She looks at me and says I am so beautiful.
We sit down and have some refreshments, but I tell them no need. I see my beautiful sweetheart. She has gotten so big from the little bundle I left there when she was six months old. All I want to do is just hold her, feel her in my arms again. She was a little scared at first, but seemed to know me.
I sat with her for two hours, as the family had called my x-husband in America. He was furious and threatened me saying that his family will call the police if I don't leave this instant. This made his family so angry, because they told me that I am family, and how can he treat me this way. It had been three hours, and I had to leave.
Can you imagine?? Three hours after not seeing her for two years?
I cried and she asked me, "Why you cry mommy?"
I said to her, "Because I love you so much! Because I will miss you so much!"
She said, "Don't cry mommy."
I said, "I have to go."
She said, "Why?"
I said, "Because I have to go back to work." I did not have the heart to tell her that her own father wants her mommy to go away, she would not understand this at age two and a half.
She said, "Why?"
I said, "Because I need to make money, so I can take care of you. So, I can always be a part of your life."
She said, "Don't go! Stay with me." I burst into tears. I got up, put my coat on. The family hugged me and told me to email my x-husband with the times that I want to visit next time. I am supposed to get 90 days visitation a year, and I had three hours. The time was not enough!
I cried the last Friday in my room. I then flew to UAE thinking I will be able to see my friends and relax, but my heart was so heavy. In one week's time, I only left my room twice. Once to go to the mall and post office and once to drive to see a friend. I did have one visitor-he is an inspiration to all people who have ever felt like giving up. Undergoing a terrible car accident when he was 11 years old, he lost the use of his legs. Hani is a great inspiration to all, including me.
After spending New Years Eve alone, I realized what had to be done! I needed to stop worrying if I will be alone in this life and start taking action towards being a larger part of my own children's lives. I need to put them first and stop waiting for a man to "save me".
Sure, I want to have what every woman dreams about once in her live: True Love! So, now I wait. I wait for God to bring me the man He wants for me to have in my life-I am no more looking. Even if I have to wait until I am 70 years old or maybe he never comes, I will keep waiting.
I have had my future staring me in the face all these years and never saw it. My children are my future. I feel so badly, it took me this long to figure it out.
More later.. go get your tissues.. drink some water.. the feelings they go away once you read this. But me, they will never leave. I feel so unfortunate that I am a mother who doesn't have her children by her side, every waking hour. Count your many blessings all you mothers and children who had a steady mother or father in your life.
I wait!
